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About Me Member Cartoonist Courtney18/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 7 Months
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Holy smokes

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 16, 2009, 2:47 PM



It's been a while since I made a journal!

(Also, thanks Ninja Assassin! Although I don't think the Ninja Assassin would support my choice of such a cute skin, but you never know. I did see a commercial for this movie the other day, and it said "Critics are calling it... 'Violent!'" and I was like wtf? That wasn't necessarily praise, but ok O_o XD)

Altermentality.com?
I'm thinking about starting a website where I can showcase the best of my art, both fanart and original, as well as my few worthwhile pieces of music. Problem is, I don't know diddly squat about web design, but I'm sure I can find some tools or templates help me figure out how to make a decent-looking page.

Character "sketches"
This marks about the fiftieth time I've said this in my journal, but I need, and want, to write more.

I've claimed before that I was going to start writing poems, but that didn't happen. I actually had the intention of doing NaNoWriMo this month, but didn't get very far. I've tried keeping a narrative journal, with limited success, although I will keep striving to maintain it.

The fact is, I love to write, but have no faith in my original ideas when it comes to narratives. Every time I think up stories or characters, my mind invariably shoots them down as trite, boring, flat, etc. Still, if I want to keep my interest of storytelling alive, I had best keep myself from going totally dull. And writing fanfiction is better than not writing at all; particularly my brand of fanfiction, which involves a large amount of original invention and character development anyway. Sad as it may be, my current writing needs a firm ground to start in, characters I already like but did not myself make up, as I have no faith in my own. Hopefully when I am older and wiser and have seen more of the world and its people, I will be able to pull from my own experiences, tales and people I am happy with. But for now I will strive to embellish, for the benefit and enjoyment of other fans, characters which are not my own; but to make them my own, as it were.

But I'll only do this if I feel I'll have an audience. Here, as examples, are some characters I easily pulled off the top of my head, for whom background stories have popped into my head at one time or another.
Jolly Roger
Salty Joe
Weldar
Trophy Thomas
Rawk Hawk
Mimi
Piddles

Sound interesting?

A Lack of Color
You may have noticed some changes in my most recent works. Since coming to college, I've had less and less time and desire to stare at a computer screen, and thus I've been doing most of my art with traditional pen and paper. And since I neglected to bring my colored pencils, I forsake coloring them. However, this has allowed me to experiment lately with just what I can do with pen, and the power of black and white alone. In place of color, I've been trying to bestow my lineart with more detail, which has given a very pleasing result.

Oh, real life!
Interesting stuff going on in my life lately.

Well, I'm going to therapy sessions and am on anti-depressant meds now. Because I'm 18 and I can and my parents can't just tell me it's a "passing phase" and stop me anymore. Funny how it's a secret to most people I know, but I'll openly admit it on the internet... I guess you guys are more understanding, and have also the proof of my past struggles archived here...

I still worry, but it doesn't drive me into the pits of sadness. I stress less. I don't have problems because I don't think about them. I have less motivation for work, and greater desire to draw and do other things which make me happy; and thus I've fallen a bit behind. Now and then I get a sudden shock of how much I have to do, or a shock of my mind berating me that I shouldn't be happy, that I don't deserve to be happy, that I'm still screwing up, that I'm not living up to my "potential," that I don't have "enough" friends and social connections; but now I'm living a lie and unaware of it. In my depressed-and-anxious state, I believed I was aware of the "truth" of the situation, that I didn't deserve to be happy. Now I relapse sometimes into that "awareness", but only for a moment, but then it's gone... but still disturbing...

I'm somewhat confused and conflicted in other areas too, but I think I know which path to follow now...

Mmkay, that's it for now. Thanks for reading, and I wish you the best.
-Courtney

Graphics by *aishwaryakhan
CSS by =moonfreak
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Psapp
  • Reading: Bleak House
  • Playing: Chrono Trigger
  • Drinking: Bubble tea

deviantID

being alone, it can be quite romantic
like jacques cousteau underneath the atlantic,
a fantastic
voyage, to parts unknown,
going to depths where the sun’s never shone
and i fascinate myself
when i’m all alone

so i go a little overboard but hang on to the hull
while i’m airbrushing fantasy art on a life
that’s really kind of dull,
oh, i’m in a lull

oh, i'm in a lull.

i’m all for moderation but sometimes it seems
moderation itself can be a kind of extreme,
so i joined the congregation
i joined the softball team
i went in for my confirmation
where incense looks like steam,
i start conjugating proverbs
where once there were nouns
this whole damn rhyme scheme’s starting to get me down

oh, i’m in a lull
i’m in a lull

being alone, it can be quite romantic
like jacques cousteau underneath the atlantic,
a fantastic
voyage, to parts unknown,
going to depths where the sun’s never shone
and i fascinate myself
when i’m all alone

i’m rambling on rather self consciously
while i’m stirring these condiments into my tea
and i think i’m so lame
i bet i think this song is about me,
don’t i don’t i don’t i ?

i’m in a lull

-Andrew Bird

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Rice University, Houston, TX
  • Favourite band or musician: Andrew Bird, The Decemberists, Keane, Sufjan Stevens, Psapp
  • Favourite genre of music: Indie
  • Favourite poet or writer: J. R. R. Tolkien, Charles Dickens
  • Favourite game: Donkey Kong Country 2, Banjo-Tooie, Chrono Trigger, Super Paper Mario, Ace Attorney series
  • Favourite gaming platform: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
  • Favourite cartoon character: Psycrow, Plankton, the Beast
  • Personal Quote: Revelation plus Resolution equals Revolution

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Comments


:iconstardustcelestial:
Ahoy thar! I saw your crazy old-account doodle of those Kremlings and thought "this person is awesome". And now, I shall go backward through your gallery and favebomb it. Cheerio! =D

--
[link] Apparently, the webmaster of this site patented an immortality device. By referring people to it, you can get your own. Come on. You know you want to.
:iconaltermentality:
Why thank you! Kremlings are my eternal favorite thing from the realm of all video games, along with Jinjos. In fact, I've just been doodling some Kremmies again recently. I'm glad you like what I have to offer!

--
Before your neurons declare a crisis, before your trace seratonin rises, before you're eating your coffee grounds and before a pundit could make a sound, before you're reading your list of vices, perform the simplest exercises.
:iconstardustcelestial:
I always thought it was incredibly witty how many Kremlings they could come up with. So many combinations from just one little grammatical change. I could tell you about what I came up with as a result of the inspiration, but not just yet. I want to do some concept art of it first.

--
[link] Apparently, the webmaster of this site patented an immortality device. By referring people to it, you can get your own. Come on. You know you want to.
:iconaltermentality:
Rare is just so darn clever. I love their names for things, from enemies to levels; so vibrant, and with great vocabulary! I learned all sorts of great words as a very young girl; frenzy, carnage, bonanza, brambles, and many more. Their tendency towards alliteration adds that extra punch (I believe every level in the DKCs either rhymes or is alliterative).

--
Before your neurons declare a crisis, before your trace seratonin rises, before you're eating your coffee grounds and before a pundit could make a sound, before you're reading your list of vices, perform the simplest exercises.
:icontheblackdrac:
Hey, thanks very much for the watch! I appreciate it. :)

--
\"For every laugh there should be a tear.\" -Walt Disney
\"I don\'t do drugs. I am drugs.\" -Salvador Dali
:iconaltermentality:
You're quite welcome! :D Your art is delightful!

--
Before your neurons declare a crisis, before your trace seratonin rises, before you're eating your coffee grounds and before a pundit could make a sound, before you're reading your list of vices, perform the simplest exercises.
:iconbanjo-on-the-cliff:
:iconbanjo-on-the-cliff::iconsaysplz: Thank you for the FAVE!!

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[link] Please see it!!
I Hate 4ch Characters!!
ニコニコ動画を使うと犯罪者の利益になります。
:iconsebastiennemelmoth:
thank you! What a friendly bunch on here! x
:iconartemendo:
Sorry for not having watched you sooner!
:iconaltermentality:
No need to apologize! Thank you! :)

--
Before your neurons declare a crisis, before your trace seratonin rises, before you're eating your coffee grounds and before a pundit could make a sound, before you're reading your list of vices, perform the simplest exercises.

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